I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
