Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
