i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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