I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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