I smell stomach acid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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