Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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