You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
