when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
