Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
