i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
