Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
