I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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