There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
