I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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