It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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