Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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