we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
