My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
