I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
