the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
