every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
