need another drink. this is the easiest way
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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