He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
