Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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