summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sex on roller skates
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?