i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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