I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
