What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
