You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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