Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
