I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
