I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i out mim tonsoeep
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
