we're blogging at a bar
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
