**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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