actually, I'm a sock model
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
