the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
