my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
