The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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