WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
