thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize