did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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