Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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