we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
