I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There are leaves in my underwear?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
