you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
