Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
