I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
