You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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