My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Mom said you looked used
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
