Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
