Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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