He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
PANTIES FOUND
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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