First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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