you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
