Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
