How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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