i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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