I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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