He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
